Saturday, January 6, 2007

Confuse a Doc!

In the best tradition of Python, who offered a "Confuse a Cat" service, I now happily offer for a limited time only , my "Confuse a Doc" service, at the temporarily reduced price of $19.95 (plus handling and shipping).

What the heck, if you can do it you can sell it. This is the internet after all! Since I missed the first I-bubble, and failed to make ten M $ off gullible stockholders before my idea of selling ice cream cones on line went south, I figure it's time for my money ship to come in. Nothing quite so much fun as confounding the physician. Buy now and avoid the rush!

Last night my lab tests indicated that I was in kidney failure and a likely candidate for kidney dialysis. Today's lab tests came back absolutely normal. Not just high normal but thuddingly dull normal.

The doctor's immediate response was that last night's readings were a lab error. The lab technician bared her teeth and said, "I ran those tests three times last night, and when the results were so different today I ran those three times. Then I went to the leftover blood from last night and reran it. That result was consistent with last night's readings. Don't ask me how, but today her levels are fine."

So, while I still get to revisit a number of cardiac tests, and probably will not be able to talk my way out of a cardiac angiogram this time, I don't need to see the renal specialist because I don't have a kidney problem.

I just have some very confused doctors.

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